One of my favorite parts about weddings is the vows- especially when the couple writes their own. The exchanging of vows truly is the highlight of the entire day because that is the moment the promise is made, the reason we are all gathered. But the moment you declare your love can be really overwhelming. It is both highly personal and yet public. It can be really nerve wracking for the couple and it can be super cringey for the guests if the vows are unbalanced or awkward or really cheesy. But there is a very elegant, simple way to have vows that are heartfelt and personal yet concise and eloquent. And that is this simple framework. If you simply fill in these 6 sections with just a few sentences, you will have crafted the words that change your life and mark the very beginning of your beautiful marriage.
Step #1: Set the Scene
Recall that special moment when you met, first kiss, know they were the one.
Or simply state how you feel at this moment.
Example: I will never forget the moment you walked into my calculus class and asked to borrow a pencil.
Three years ago, I could have never imagined we would be standing here today….
Step #2: What do you Love?
Describe the very best of them- favorite/unique traits or how they inspire you.
Example: I love how you always bring people together, I love how hard you work, I love how you see the best in me.
I love how you dream big and light up every room. I love that you always think of the little ways to express your love.
Step #3: Describe What You Love About Your Relationship
Write a few sentences explaining why you feel your relationship is special.
Example: I love that I am better because we are together. I love that we our strengths compliment the other. I love what we’ve made it through, how we grow and change together. I love how we dream together.
Step #4: Promises
Write 3-6 promises with the majority being serious and a few lighter ones if you want.
Examples: I promise to life you up in hard times. I promise to bring you coffee. I promise to be the best version of myself. I promise to be faithful. I promise to tell you what I need. I promise to really listen. I promise to let you order the take out food. I promise to put our relationship first.
Step #5: Your Vision
What do you look forward to in your life together?
Examples: I can’t wait to travel the world with you. I can’t wait to start a family with you. I can’t wait to grow old with you.
Step #6: Loving Last Line
I choose you. I love you. thank you. You are my dream come true. You are my best friend and biggest gift.
If you both follow this framework, your vows will flow with ease and capture your unique love story in a tender and lovely way that you will treasure and your guests will adore.